This Prize Has Teeth by Alethea Paul

Despite dragging my generously-called-a-prosthetic pogo stick of a leg through this dungeon, I’m practically dancing like it’s the aisle on The Price is Right. I might not be the only one to make it through, but I’m the first. I just need to get past security, on the stage, and claim my prize.

---

“Welcome, Prudence, to The Labyrinth,” Rob had smiled down from his raised podium as I stood before the entrance doors. The host’s face was all botox and plastic, despite these lean times. Between me and his stairs, a buffer of security as sharp as teeth. All pointed outwards at me. “Tell us about yourself. Where are you from?”

Questions all for show. People watching at home think they want to relate to us, root for us. The truth is they want someone they can feel better than.

“Now? Or me from the ‘before times’?” It was a tired joke, but the laugh track echoed on the stone walls. “Sector 15.” But I had been from D.C. and watched the rich hoard like dragons.

“We’ve had great contestants from there!”

One was the first person to die on this show. She had a toothy smile.

“But I’ll be the first to win.”

“And what prize do you want to win?”

“An axe.” It could be a tool. In my hands.

“And your bid to enter, my prudent Prudence?”

His little joke.

“Lipstick.”

My little joke.

Before it collapsed, whenever the economy started a downturn people stopped buying expensive goods, but they’d relish in little non-essentials. Like lipstick. Small things feel luxurious when everything else is shit.

And this game was created so we each offered up an item, a prize, another competitor sought. The axe was what the competitor before me offered up, the lipstick was what the one after me wanted. A perpetual circle of want. There was only one winner, no matter how many entered. We were meant to take from each other instead of eyeing the proverbial dragon’s hoard.

“I’m sure your husband will miss you using it?”

I had shook my head.

“Not married?”

“Used to be.”

“Well, you know the rules. Get through the labyrinth before your competitors, win all the prizes! Watch out for traps!”

He didn’t mention my competition was the real danger, but I hadn’t needed it to be said. The show’s first death, Alice, had been pushed into a pit-trap, causing her to land funny. On her head. Accidental.

It drew in viewers who wanted to think they’re better off than some desperate, klutzy, fool. That was almost everyone. But after that first death, after I lost more than my leg, I was done watching.

---

Victoriously, I drag my ass back through the doors into the heart of the Labyrinth; something that my wife couldn’t do. Alive; something my wife is not.

Knowing another contestant had wanted something as trifling as lipstick made it easier to ‘accidentally’ push them. Let them fall as they may. On to Spikes or into collapsing halls. I understand these first world dragons better now. It was easy to tell myself the traps had killed them.

I stared up at Rob on that stage with his artificial smile, gesturing me to join him. “Congratulations, Prudence. Our first victor from your sector!.”

While the cameras are on him, security parts and I step-spring-step up the stairs and stand beside him.

“Anyone you want to thank?” He hands me the axe, the chip in its curved blade reminds me of her toothy grin. I think I’ll call it Alice.

“My wife, Rob… the first contestant from sector 15?” I doubted he remembered that she was dead. “Do you remember what she wanted to win? Antibiotics–”

He was smarter than I thought he’d be, because I caught him looking down at my “prosthesis.”

“–for her wife’s infected leg?”

His botox and plastic facade doesn’t move, but this close I can see the fear in his eyes.

He could scream out, but security hasn’t even noticed something is wrong. They assumed winning would make anyone docile. That someone wouldn’t bite the hand that feeds them. Even if security was watching us instead of other less fortunate competitors they wouldn’t be able to make it on stage in time.

I heft Alice, once again admiring her sharp grin and I know she is hungry. With her I’ll slay this false dragon. I drop her down, her sharp teeth biting deep and severing his leg.